Part II of Turning Grief into Gratitude: Tom Van Ness on Loss, Community, and Healing

*****Part II
In this heartfelt and deeply moving episode of Morton Muse & News, we sit down with Tom Van Ness as he shares his incredible journey of resilience, healing, and finding purpose after the devastating loss of his wife.

Tom’s story isn’t just one of grief; it’s about how the support of a small-town community can become a lifeline during life’s darkest moments. From the meals delivered by neighbors to the overwhelming kindness of strangers, Tom reveals how Morton’s tight-knit fabric lifted his family in their time of need.

We’ll also explore the transformative power of turning pain into purpose. Tom reflects on the steps he’s taken to support his sons, rediscover joy, and build a meaningful new chapter—sharing laughter, running milestones, and even connecting with music through his beloved Dave Matthews Band.

This episode celebrates the heart of Morton, the strength of community, and Tom’s inspiring progress as he transforms his grief into gratitude. It’s a story that will remind you of the beauty of small-town connections and the strength that comes from leaning on each other.

Tune in to be inspired, to reflect, and to discover why Morton truly is a place where neighbors become family.

Transcript

Oh tom  That's some big stuff. I can see why you want to put together a podcast on it. I mean, it's, it's part of your, your journey. Let's talk a little bit about the healing. You mentioned Dave Matthews band was kind of a cathartic thing for you to go a little bit out of mind into body kind of thing.

You get to go dance and sing and to a place where people don't recognize you. His music, 

his music also hits though. I mean, it wasn't just, I mean, it's just  love the lyricist part of it. And yeah, music guy, just the music live is completely different than what. You may hear on the radio or, but anyway, 

yeah, no, I've I mean, I think Dave Matthews band, the second CD after  crash was the first CD I illegally pirated and downloaded  and they're cool with 

that.

Well, yeah, I don't know if they were, but it  was what was that website? Napster? Yeah. Is LimeWire 

back in the day. Yeah.  I think I still have that computer in my basement because I don't 

want to get arrested for it. Don't 

throw that thing away, they'll track you down. 

Like what, what else becomes part of this catharsis, part of this healing process, you also mentioned your journey and running. So, um, talk about those 

started not too long after we moved here,  I think the adjustment from having all kinds of family and friends we grew up with to having no one, it's just. 

It was a  culture shocker. It was just a shift in management of your life. And I started, I found a counselor, a therapist and started, you know, almost six years ago, five years ago, started meeting with a therapist. And it just so happened  the day I flew home.  About a half hour after I landed, I already had a therapy appointment scheduled in a virtual one.

And so I ended up in the Starbucks parking lot next to the Walmart. Just 

on your phone? 

Just on my phone, having a virtual  telephone, like a FaceTime appointment with my therapist. And we spent that hour talking about how I was going to tell the boys about their mom.  

And you felt an urgency, like I got to stop the car no matter where I'm at.

Yeah, I 

knew it was like, I knew where my plane was landing and I knew that I could get somewhere between there and my house before pulling up in the driveway. You 

got to run through that brick wall hard. Yeah. I would imagine. Yeah. As soon 

as I got off with that call, I pulled up in the driveway. I.  Told my mom, I need the boys in my room.

Like we kind of had it all choreographed and ready. But so I had therapy already in my back pocket and something I'm very comfortable with talking about. If I was to stand on any soapbox, I can't tell you how  important paying attention to mental health is. Even if you feel like you're a completely normal, the fact that you can go somewhere.

Even a couple of times a year and talk to someone in a judgment free atmosphere that you don't have to worry about like your spouse or your kids or your friend holding any kind of judgment. Like that's just a healthy space 

because those would otherwise be the people you would talk to. 

Right? Right.

Yeah. 100 percent or a stranger. Yeah. You know that you can't trust as far as you throw. Right. So I think that's just important. And the.  I'll talk in my podcast a lot about breadcrumbs from God that just kind of, it was his way to show me that I was on the right path or just these little trail of like, Oh, this is fitting in perfectly. 

Oh, serendipity. Yeah. Yeah. Just things that were just like in, in your day got laid down in front of him. You're like, that's for me. 

So in my appointment, my, when I first started with my therapist, he was a handful of doctors that he and his wife own and operated this practice with a couple of their doctors.

They're now like 15, 17 doctors deep. He had just hired the day before the day Leslie died.  Um, a therapist that specialized in youth counseling for children under 10 and  in grief counseling. 

And, 

and so right there in the spot, I was able to schedule the boys every week for a year at the same time. The same place with the same person. 

After about two appointments, three appointments, I even  changed the delivery of them is I had a babysitter that took them to every appointment by the other one was in the appointment. The other one got to go get ice cream or a candy bar. A little, 

little fun. Yeah. A little 

fun with the babysitters. So dad never forced us to go.

It 

was 

just something we always did on Mondays with 

our babysitter. 

Cool. And it was about a year in that the doctor called and was like,  They see me as a resource, as a value. I, we can back off. I don't want them to, 

you 

know, hold resentment towards having to go to therapy. Right.  Yeah.  They both handle their grief very differently, you know, but they are both very involved. 

I think the thing that brings me some of the most joy is, uh, our school bus drop off is, Right outside my door for our house. And so right now my office looks right out there and they get off the bus every day with like  nine, 10, 11 other kids.  And they smile and laugh like all of them.  You cannot tell  what had, what they've gone through. 

They are, they look like every other kid getting off that bus.  They are trying new sports. They are, my oldest has taught himself two instruments in 2023. They brought home their first A's this year and their first and second quarter report cards.  I Yeah,  there was 

something that Scott Witzig told me during his visit here.

He said, turning grief into gratitude or something like that. Yeah. So I, I dare say that perhaps that's what they're doing. You know, they're, they're translating this grief into some agency. Like, I can do something about this. Like, if I put this carrot of making a donation into, you know, mom's endowment, every single time I, you know, have a good day on the ice, Then that's my agency.

That's something I can do about this. And it's turning it into gratitude. Congratulations, man. That's,  that's amazing. 

Yeah. The I'm glad you said gratitude. Cause if, if we were to put a bow on it,  the, well, the podcast I heard  that kind of catapulted this idea was one with Anderson Cooper and Stephen Colbert and Anderson Cooper has a podcast on grief where he interviews all kinds of, of celebrities who have gone through their grief journey. 

And one of 'em was Stephen Colbert, who lost his father and brothers in a plane accident, and talks about how grief kind of ends up being like this big tiger  in the room that you're scared to death of.  But if you learn to  love it, you want to then end up it's your own. Okay. That, that tiger then protects you just as you protect it.

Mm. 

And it becomes something that you have gratitude for that. And probably in my phase right now, I'm.  I'm starting to learn the importance of, and  in my grief, 

go keep going,  

that I can be sad 

and, 

and be happy, be happy for what the boys are doing,  or be, there just aren't enough words in 

our language to come up with a new word for that.

To 

be heartbroken  and so blessed  that I got.  One month shy of 11 years of marriage and 14 years of, of Leslie having an impact of my life.  Like that is so sad  that it was cut so short,  but I'm so blessed. We had 60 years of experiences wrapped up in time.  

Your homework has to come up with new words for the English language.

I mean, you, you've got enough of the material and, and. To, to work with their, to start, I don't know, mixing words like Frankenstein did is  I'd love to, I'd love to see that. 

Um, 

wow. Where where do you go from here?  



In the, in the broader sense of the journey, 

it's the boys and with you. In September, I left  my job  after our company sold, after my grandfather passed away, who was a part of our company. And then a year later, my wife passing away who worked in that company, just walking into those doors and that industry was  something that had to change.

A bank,  uh, who is our largest local lender in our company loan asked me to come work for them.  And that's where I've been since September. They allow me to work remotely. They are excited for me to be able to be at home when my kids get off the bus. If I need to be, yeah. They, 

which I would imagine is pretty important to you.

It's 

hugely important. Like I just need to be present with my boys. 

And the fact that you said that your desk is facing the window so that you can see them roll off the bus, that that says something without saying something. Yeah. 

And it's the office my wife had and she worked from home. So it was just like, it's,  they've gone through enough culture shock.

I, you know, I'm just blessed that and not that the TV station wasn't allowing me, giving me that freedom, but this has just been a beautiful transition. It still allows me to work with actually more people. I work with businesses. I work with people. Whether it's from home mortgages to commercial loans, to starting a checking account for your 10 year old, you know, they have a youth checking.

I mean, so there's all kinds of little things that  I'm a concierge to the bank. You know, so if you 

throw parties,  not really,  

no, I  make a note.  Sounds good. Yeah. I like, no. So it's, that's, that's been a big part of it. Um,  The,  the amount of distractions I threw into my life over the last year and a half. 

You're ready to peel some of those back or, Oh yeah, definitely.

Well, I felt like that's where you were going. I definitely 

peeled it back. Like probably starting in like October, you know, um, November just became an opportunity to understand, to sit. 

Now you're ready to listen, 

sit in the pain, listen to what my body is screaming I best described it with my therapist is like, I realized my,  my spiritual, my mental, my physical senses were like having a cage fight, you know, like metal chairs, jumping off the top turnbuckle, all of the things we see on WWE, WWF, all of that stuff. 

And I was able to recenter my spirituality and my mental state and start doing some scriptures reading and some journaling and stuff like that. There was still a physical piece that was missing for almost 20 years. I'd never walked into a gym.  Ran on purpose anything since playing football. Yeah.

Who does that? Football, right? Yeah. High school football was the last time that was penalty. So like 1999, 2000 was the last time I did like anything. Oh, running serious. Yeah. So 

now you're, you're fixing that triad. You were talking about the triangle earlier. You got the spirituality everyth. Yeah. You got the mentality, you got the physicality and you're kind of now processing all three. 

Processing grief through all three of those.  

Yeah. Running is my, um,  it's my space to give myself time,  but you know, the thing I realized the most, 

what I was doing the most,  which I think everyone in grief, especially battles  is I started running on the expectations of everyone else  

and where I 

thought everyone else wanted me to be. 

Okay.  What do you mean running on it? Like that was your operating system. 

I was like, Oh man, you know, it's this far along.

People expect me to be here. So I might as well, instead of like,  

do we need 

to be here? And all that stuff is just 

subconsciously written in the back of your mind, just from what you've seen on TV and in the world. 

And I think my personality, I was a people pleaser. You know, I was, you're a yes guy. Put myself last.

Mm-hmm . Open up holding up the door for everybody. A hundred percent. Yeah. Yeah. I was, it's cold outside. Yeah. 

So now it's not that I like run in the door and don't hold the door open. . Yeah. But it's, it's, I'm learning the value of  my value. 

Yeah. There you go. 

Of me being happy for me. Yeah. There was a quote I came across in all of this that. 

It's time to start loving yourself instead of the idea of how other people love you. 

And I love that you're doing it. And, and because quite easily, I think that could be interpreted by some as being a toxic excuse for doing whatever you want. 

Right? You don't have to be selfish with it. You need to be respectful.

You need to be responsible with it. It needs to be decisions that are.  That match your boundaries, your spirituality, where you stand and where you can be comfortable. It's,  you know, I keep feeling like I'm plugging people here. There's a Mel Robbins, motivational kind of person, a new book she came out with called Let Them.

And it's kind of like, let people say what they want to say, do what they want to do. If you show up how you want to show up and you're engaged, how you want to be gauged. 

Ooh, I could read that. 

What else matters? Cause you can go to the grave. You can end the day. You can walk away from the relationship knowing you made,  

yeah,  

you made the decision you wanted to make that was responsible and best for you, not because of someone else. 

And I think grief, it really applies to grief. 

Yeah. Yeah. I'm taking some notes over here. You mentioned something earlier about grief being a tiger in the room. There's a book I'd like you to maybe pick up if you get the chance, maybe an audio version of it called life of pie.  

Oh yeah. That was also turned into a movie too.

Wasn't it? I believe it was. I don't know that I ever saw the movie on a boat. It's a tiger on a boat. It's 

a boy who's traveling the Atlantic. His parents have owned a zoo and they're shipping all the animals to America. And the boat capsizes. And he's in one of the smaller vessels. With the tiger. With a tiger.

And at first, a couple of other animals but you can imagine with a tiger that doesn't last very long.  And but anyways kind of to make your, your  poetic metaphor about the tiger in the room, something a little bit more palpable and literal. I don't know. You might get a kick out of that book.

And then additionally, as you're dropping some names here about some Anderson Cooper and people that you've been listening to, I don't know if you know, Ryan holiday. Yeah. He has a podcast that is about a minute and 14 seconds on the daily, and it's called the daily stoic  and you might find some, some tools there because they're so quick, almost quick to the point to where like, you forget that they're there.

Right. And so I don't come back every single day, but when things start to get a little bit bumpy in my road. I'll pull up my daily stoic and just pop it on a minute and 40 seconds. And it's just like a little bit of a Vince Lombardi halftime. Like you can do this or it's supposed to be hard. Yeah. It's not supposed to be easy all the time.

And it kind of picks you up. Yeah. So I thought maybe I'd, you know, put that in your in your wheelhouse over there, 

made them right here.  My notes on my phone. There we go. Yeah. And I think that's bringing back to Morton , you know, I think over the last year and a half, there was. 

Well, let's see two, three of those concerts were in Indian Indianapolis, Deer Creek.  

And Deer Creek to see Dave. 

Yup. And 

Alpine Valley. 

Yup. Took the boys to their first Dave concert and we were at Alpine Valley in 2024. 

So here's my, here's my Dave story. They did a two day show. I was working security.

Nice. And Drove up from the tweeter center, which is in Tinley Park, which is where I worked for the security and they were short staffed in Alpine and they're like, Hey, he's going to be up there Thursday or Friday and Saturday or something like that. And we need, we need to send a couple of people up like, okay, so me and my buddy, Pat high school buddy, we, we go up and we worked the first day of the show and we hadn't planned well enough.

We were like, we don't have anywhere to stay overnight to work day two. And so we started asking one of the managers and he's.  Who we didn't know because their managers up there at Alpine Valley and he says, well, actually we need somebody to watch the stage overnight because they don't break down the equipment just to set up for day two.

And so we got to sit on Dave's stage, like on the drum set and like stand at Dave's microphone. And they gave us like a, a cooler of subway and, you know, some beer and stuff like that and some golf carts. So we got to drive around Alpine Valley at like four o'clock in the morning, eating subways and standing at Dave's, you know, a microphone stand and looking out at the empty stadium.

And this is what Dave, this is what he sees, you know, so. I just wanted to share that little Dave story with you. That's a very cool story. Yeah. 

That's a very cool story. 

Yeah. I was a Dave fan too. So it made it that much sweeter. It wasn't like a, a band that you don't really care too much for. So, so that was great.

Yeah. The yeah, there's a couple, I, I, I have one to share when I was out at that gorge trip that Leslie booked for 

me,  

it was that night too. So Friday night, the night Jimmy Buffett passed away after the concert, it started circulating that he passed away. Jimmy and Dave are good friends.  There was also two other people closely involved in the tour and the band with Dave that passed away that week.

So this was like his third close friend that passed away in a week.  And that Saturday morning, I see where you're going with this. I came across a  pit ticket. That got me down in the pit and it got me in so late. I didn't know where I would end up and I got right on the rail. So front row, right in front of the keyboard.

You're 

looking 

at his kneecaps and Dave comes out and starts the show  talking about the level of grief he's experiencing.  

And you're like, yeah, 

yeah. And and he's going to get through tonight and. He knows how much his music has meant to people in these scenarios, but how beautiful it is that all of these people are going to help him get through this night  and to have,  to have someone's music and art  get you through so much.

Yeah.  I bet in that moment, like everybody else disappeared and it was just like, Dave talking to you. 

I have it. I just so happened to like, he was coming out and starting to talk and I just started recording it. So I have it recorded. 

You do. Oh, you got to save that forever. 

And he came out and expounded on it more for the encore.

Cause he, for the first time he talked about, well, last night I heard this song for the first time and I wanted to play it and it was Eddie Vedder's just breathe  and he played it just himself.  For his first on course song after kind of explaining his grief. And I'm just like, 

yeah. And what a level of a musician that could say, Oh, I just heard the song last night.

Let me go play it in front of thousands of people. Yeah. 

There's the breadcrumb of like, I know going out to that concert was right. I know getting the ticket that night to be right up front to see and hear that was, was right. And but I think the, you know, bringing it back to Morton again going back to those three families.  We went to Dave shows together. Awesome. We rented Airbnbs. Are you, 

are you comfortable dropping names here? I know you were dropping some names from, 

yeah, I mean let's see, 

I mean, at the risk of not, you 

can't include 

everybody, 

Joey and Kelsey.

Klaus, who Joey's one of the first people I met here through soccer and Dan Dolan those three started off the very first one. And then we got our neighbors Eric and Heather to come. And I think that was all in the first trip. Yeah. So I think that was about it on the first trip. Then a year later, it was about the same group, more or less.

And this time instead of just doing one night there and back, we rented an Airbnb and went for both shows and just had fun and yeah, just no kids and up and made bracelets and swag to hand out. And it was like, it was more than just Taylor Swift fans do. Right. Yeah. 

Yeah. Yeah. So, but. You were a roadie for like two days.

Yeah. Yeah. It was a lot of fun. Oh, there was a few, like the boys and I did two nights at Alpine. The classes went out with me to New York. When I was at the gorge, I won four tickets to Dave at New York at Madison square garden, more breadcrumbs that I'd never been out to the garden. We'd always kind of wanted to go to it.

So they went out with me to that one. So yeah, I think the classes went with me to actually to.  Or we have five or six shows with me. So yeah, but yeah, all the other ones I went to, I would, I get a friend from high school or friend I haven't connected with for a long time. Right. And buddy up the show.

Yeah. Just got a chance to connect with them again and hang out with them. And but now I'm kind of back in the phase and I talked like Joey couple of weeks ago I was like, dude, I'm, I feel kind of bad. Cause you guys all showed up for me and then I kind of just started like Scooting out. 

Oh, 

you know, so scooting out of the scene or yeah, just like not being very engaged with my friends well, it's hard to stay engaged at that level.

Yeah, it is. Yeah it is and but that's where i'm that's the you know, the I feel guilt like that sometimes. Yeah. That's my era I'm in right now is just kind of you know, reconnecting with the people in Morton that showed up so strong for me. Um, and like Joey and I are running right now. Okay. There's a couple other dads we're going to we're doing the Nashville half marathon or 10 K later in April.

And so we're all kind of running and training right now for that. And just decided to do that. So. Instead of being so individually focused, it helps 

to be part of a group. Yeah. 

Yeah. And just kind of growing that and getting my sense of community back, which is one reason why we picked Morton, which is one reason I love  being raised in Quincy and just kind of reestablishing that community and  getting out of survival mode and getting, I had a conversation with the boys a couple of days ago.

I was like,  Sterling asked me, why are you singing so much today, dad?  I'm like, I'm just happy today and it's okay to be happy. And you guys probably don't remember me. 

Yeah. Because for the last year and a half, you know, from their ages of eight and six, like you 

said, I was just trying to keep my head 

above water age of eight and six. They've only really known dad without mom. 

Hmm.  

And that's sad. So would you say 

that you're through a turning point now?  

Yeah. I mean, I think grief is an evolving thing and I think there's bigger, bigger, bigger  Bigger turns to it, bigger corners.

And yeah, there's I think with the harmony that I've  allowed myself to sit in and be a part of has just allowed a natural transition.  

I think you're doing an amazing job of, you know, such a tragic life event, especially when you get the boys in tow and to see you kind of go through it in this way.

It seems like you're seems like you're happy now.  

There's 

happy with the tools that you 

have. You can be appreciative of happiness and the joy that. does show up in your life, even though you've gone through the bad stuff. And I, you asked one question, I'd be remiss not to mention it.  And I don't think it matters how long ago you experienced your grief.

Grace church here in Morton is a sponsor of grief share. 

Okay. 

Grief share is a 

church 

12 week program. Uh, we've started going there recently. The boys played upward basketball there. I went to grief share but we started going there.  Right around Thanksgiving. 

Is this like a group talk? 

Yeah, it's, it's like a,  I don't want to say it's like AA.

Yeah, no, I mean like people, what kind of thing, but it's, it's a room full of people that have lost their spouse, lost a child, lost a friend, lost like  just someone  where it changed them. It impacted them.  And it's every week there's a 30 minute video. There's a workbook that you kind of look at, talk about, and then everyone kind of goes around.

And if they feel comfortable sharing, like kind of on that topic, you can. And  for me, there was some sharing  and trying to connect dots and helping people. And that's just, it was a very comfortable scene for me,  but what it was really incredible for me was to help me build empathy.  Towards other people and their grief, because  I definitely had my world and I had the toughness of it,  but there's 

And it's hard at that point to have empathy towards other people because you're dealing with it.

Don't 

compare grief because every situation is different, which is why I want to have the podcast of all these stories.  But it has a level of appreciation to it of where you start to have the compassion  and the understanding for other people's grief. And one of my best friends, whose  daughter is not going to have a full life, it's not going to be a normal life.

And they're not ever going to have a normal life again at any point.  But he said, we all carry a plate  and that plate is full of our crap. Yeah. You 

know, 

um,  right. And at no point should we ever compare what someone else has on their plate. What we have fallen away from  is the understanding of what someone's carrying on their plate,  that it's,  We have ours, you have yours.

Let's have an understanding that we've gone through some bad stuff.  Like there's similar feelings and emotions, just a different path of getting there.  And  we shouldn't be, it's not a competition, right? It's something that we can lean each other who can 

carry the most without struggling or who has the most organized plate and 

communities like this do that.

Well, yeah, you know Rotary clubs,  sports groups, schools you know,  there's so many silly breadcrumbs that have helped us. So including going to stick 

with that  breadcrumb thing, right? Yeah. Yeah. That's great. Yeah. It's easy to it's a perfect little metaphor of serendipitous things that are just put in your path to kind of help you find your way.

Yeah. Yeah.  Well, Tom, I wanted to wrap things up here and say thank you very much for coming and showing some vulnerability and talking about some heavy, heavy things. And to the, to the people who may be listening to the podcast if I was to kind of paint a picture of Tom for you, Tom, every time I see you, Tom, and bump into you at Rotary You're always a high energy, positive minded person to me.

And then just, just to be able to sit here for the last hour and to hear you go through your, your grief journey and how you're going to take and use it to try and help maybe other people understand grief better, I think says something a lot about your character. You know, you're not just kind of taking this grief and quietly trying to deal with it yourself in a John Wayne kind of style.

You know, you're, you're wanting to try and turn grief into a tool to help other people. And it says something like to the, to the very fiber of like, I think who you are. So 

I appreciate that. 

I usually have a little bit of a dice game or I have you roll a dice and it kind of corresponds to a couple more questions, but I'm just gonna, I'm going to roll the dice for you and I'm going to ask you these questions here.

And  it's a five favorite places in  to eat, to go,  Uh, park, a trail, frisbee golf,  

favorite place to go in Morton. 

 My place to go to lunch, my favorite You know, the, the office has like that fun, like pub food fair, you know, which is just fun to, to, to have that kind of food with a lot of the times when Miss Vicky's was over. At its first, at our first place, where was that? It was over there.

John's. 

Okay. 

And that was over by our house. So there was a lot of memories of like the boys and Leslie and I walking up there to have breakfast. That was really a lot of fun and really sweet. 

For years. That was the place I'd go to have lunch on the last half day of school. 

Yeah. 

You know?  

But I mean the,  the sports fields are,  I know it sounds a little easy or maybe it's a cop out, but. 

So many of the families, 

uh, 

that our kids have played together now for a few years. 

Yeah. 

The fields bring them all together. Those are just nice communities of people where we sit on our lawn chairs and we know what's going on with each other. And in between games or on our weekend tournament trips, you know, the boys are now playing Wharton football and  the community of soccer parents are great.

And I love the Morton United group. But boys 

are JFL. 

Yeah. Yeah. And so they start JFL and played their first year. We're doing both soccer and football, which is just numbingly busy. 

I probably ran out, ran, ran into them. I was officiating football over in the JFL fields this past year. Yeah. It's probably out on the field with them.

Yeah. So they I love.  I love those little nooks of places in Morton because it just, it's where you've, it's where I've met the most people not being a Mortonite, not being born from here. I've met 80 percent  of my, of my world in that, in that space, in that space. And that's I think that's an important space to be.

I really like our rotary club though. Yeah, I like our group of people there. It's really diverse from age. Professional wise the people that are there. I'm excited to, I like 

the personalities we have. Yeah. I'm I'm I'm I think Alyssa is a pretty good  leader 

away president to away two years. So not the incoming one, but the one after it'll be my second time being the president of a rotary club, president of Quincy's rotary club in their hundredth year.

Ooh. See, I, I think rotary is a.  So you're a two 

term president, 

I guess, two different kinds of 

large gap between huge gap.  

So, yeah, so I those are the volunteering and giving back. And I think just being out in Morton, I've really started to love running in Morton. Um, I'm kind of running on the North side of 74.

But I, do you live out by Ed  kind of over in the Thorn Ridge subdivision? So I run a lot through there and then maybe over towards Ed's neighborhood or on that bike path along the baseball fields.  If you've seen me on Lakewood and almost hit me, I'm sorry, but thank you for giving me space. Stay off your phone.

I try to run. Yes.  And I will say. You have to run towards traffic. I do.  But I will say I don't see a lot of people. On their phone? On their phone. That's good. And of course I'm running sometimes at like five or six in the morning. 

You just don't even see a lot of people.  Not a lot of life out.  I'll tell you a place that I don't like in Morton.

Okay. A four way stop out in front of Jimmy John's.  

Can, can we talk? 

I don't know, can we put a stop, a stoplight there maybe? A roundabout would be better, yeah. Let's do that. Come on, 

that's super 

easy. I'm just, I don't know. I'm patient in almost every other place in my life, but I get to that four way stop and my heart rate goes up.

I can avoid it. Like I, I can almost never have to go through it. I'll go through. Like over by the pumpkin factory and around that way. 

And I, I, I dislike it for the sweetest reason. Like I get up and I, you know how you intentionally like roll to a stop, but you kind of slow your role. So it communicates to the other people at the stop.

Like, no, you get to go first. And then like, I haven't come to my stop yet. You go, you go. And then I'll, but everybody's so nice. And they all just sit there and they're like, hi, you can go. I'm like, no, you were there first. You need to go 

see, it's my OCD. It's not a symmetrical intersection. 

It doesn't, it kind of comes out.

It's all 

weird. Like if you're coming from coming from the east, it like bends. Yeah. I don't like that. It's just, yeah, I can avoid it. If  

other places I do like, uh, Dax smokehouse, 

Dax is good. Um, I know it's just outside of Morton, but I really like Meadows Avenue tap. 

Now those Avenue tap is good. It 

was really good.



You ever been to Haynes on 

Main? Have been. Haynes is good. I like Haynes. We're talking all food places. The parks are great. 

Oh, the parks are great. Yeah. Joel's doing a great job with the parks. Joel's doing a great job with the parks. Yeah. 



I used to do stuff with the park district a while ago. Used to teach poetry in the park with kids.

Oh, very cool. Yeah. Did that probably 

for like 

eight years. I had the boys like going to the library. They do a good job with that. Uh, Alyssa does a great job at the library. Mm hmm. Who is also, I think, a guest here on the show. You have the good people here to know more about, about the community.



Ooh, speaking of which let's do like the ice water challenge. Like you get to call out a challenge who should, we should come and talk.  I have in the pipeline, I have Paul Grethy who owns Johnson florals. Okay. Going to get him in here to talk about what they're doing before February, big Valentine's day season for them.





That gave me a name not too long ago. 

 Um,  it's a lady. She was our old neighbor, I believe.

And she just became widowed. Um,  but they have the largest active magician's library. 

And Morton 

and Morton 

get out of here 

and she's a magician like a third generation magician. I think oh not too long ago She was still teaching magic at Bradley  

That's a 

class. Yeah  Yeah, let's 

do that. 

Like what's her name?

I'll tell you off the air just okay. She doesn't in case she doesn't want her Yeah, okay, but that's a cool I've got a really cool story. That's a cool story. You know, I, it might be cool, especially if you talk about like Morton and Morton sports, like you should get Jim Matson. 

Oh yeah. I had a daughter as a student.

I mean, so many stories about the fabric community are done through local sports and 

he's always covering Morton sports. Yeah. He's been doing that for years. Yeah. So 

that might be a cool conversation to have. Yeah.  So yeah, those are a couple of names, but I'll think of some others. Awesome. I was trying to do it.

Throw some invites out on Facebook and social media platforms and try to get more people to come and appreciate that. I 

mean, it's a little bit difficult. Sometimes I don't want to buy a billboard space, you know, and I don't want to do like a paid airtime stuff like that. But I figured, you know, through word of mouth and i'm giving the podcast Year two and if in year two, it's still fun and I want to continue doing it.

I'm gonna i'm gonna keep going There's never going to be a shortage Of neat, interesting stories coming out of Morton, you know, 

I, I'd encourage you to I think we need to get a camera up for your podcast. 

Oh, and record it 

and just have a video feed with it. You know, like a live 

feed  

that, I mean, that's what that'd be like Facebook live.

And that's only coming from, I know that's what you came from, like the broadcast consumption rate will jump something over like 80 percent of your podcast. If you also offer video.  And I also help with your promotion because then you can do little cutaways or shorts or yeah,  to promote the podcast, upcoming guests,  but I might talk to you about that later. 

That's what I'm setting up on mine.  

All right. 

Well, wrapping things up, Tom, thank you very much for coming in. Any last notes of reflection 

or let me ask one question for you. You're sitting here in your art studio because it's a journey where I am trying to find myself being okay. And letting go of other people's opinions of me as an artist. 

How, how do you become so comfortable letting your work out there, not caring  what anyone else thinks of it? 

Well, I think Artists is a unique term because it can be used as like a tag for a profession, but it can also just kind of be used as like a personality trait. And I think for me it's more the personality trait.

Like, I'm not, I'm not making a living off of selling this stuff. You know, I have, my rental property is what allows me the luxury of being able to express myself through this art. I think the game would be totally different if You know, I was having to build furniture for high end clients and, you know, sustain that for a while.

So people ask me sometimes, you know, how much is this? How much is that? And I don't like putting prices on things because I'm of the opinion where if  if somebody wants to buy it and they want to give me like a an offer,  I'll consider that. But if not, I'm really happy keeping my stuff because I like it.

And I really don't care too much.  It is gratifying when other people look, I just like, Hey, I get to keep it. So, Hey, there's no loss. You know, there's, there's never anything lost for me. So if it doesn't sell that table out there, if it doesn't sell this thing here, if this doesn't sell, I get to keep it,  there's a limitation on that.

My house is starting to fill up with like. In my opinion, like really cool stuff, but you only have so much space. 

I'm going to have you come by my studio and I'm going to need to find the right piece. 

I'd love to work with you on something like that. Yeah. But even more than that, I'd love to, I'd love for you to make it. 

And I, and let you use my, use my shop here. We'll have to try that. We'll build you a little desk, something. Let's do something. 

Yeah. 

I'd love that. 

Great. See, this is why. This is why community matters. This is why Morton's awesome breadcrumbs go out and meet people, you know, like  our phones are great and phones serve a great purpose, but man, connection, stronger purpose and going out and getting involved with  a church.

Uh, a writing group rotary running club, or just joining a gym, you know, there's so many different places where we can surround ourselves with other people. 

It takes effort though. 

It does. You gotta, you gotta want to do it at some point. You just gotta figure out where the pain point is in yourself.

Yeah. Yeah.  Well, thank you, Tom. I hope you have a great rest of your day. I'm going to see you at lunch. 

Yeah. We got rotary here in a couple hours. Yeah. 

We've got chicken and waffles.  

And an egg casserole. I think I saw, yeah, I'll eat it. Girl scouts are coming. You know what that means? You think they got cookies?

Cookie time.  That's great. Is it, is it that time of year? It is that I got, I thought it was like around Christmas. I, I got asked the other day if I needed to, like, if they wanted to bring any into the office so I could buy some 

cookies before the end of January. 

Um, 

probably that peanut butter one. I also like the one with the coconut on it.

Yeah, you can have my, yeah. The 

caramel delights? 

Yeah, I'm, I'm the thin mint guy in the freezer, but I'll one up it. My brother 

is the thin mint guy too. 

I do like the buyer's French vanilla. Okay. Like one spoonful ice cream sandwich. 

Oh, on the, on the mint? On the thin mints. 

You make a little ice cream sandwich?

A little ice cream sandwich. That's adorable. Put them in the Tupperware. Like it'll hold like 20 of them. Whoa. And so whenever you unpack them in the freezer and then whenever you need a little pick me up a little, yeah, you just pop that open, dig one in. It's like, yeah, 

my problem is that there's no, there's no limit on that.

Pick me up. I'd open up that Tupperware and I'd, 

you know, I said, they're there as you need them the first day, sometimes I need them a lot.  

All right, Tom, thank you very, very much. Appreciate you.  Hey, this is Ben. Thanks for listening to this episode of Morton Musin News.  I'm excited to share more stories with you, but I need your help to keep the content growing and engaging. 

If you know someone in our community with an interesting story to tell, or who's making a difference, we'd love to hear from you. Maybe it's a local business owner. Maybe a community volunteer, or even a neighbor with a unique hobby.  Send us their names and a little bit about why you think they'd be great for the show.

You can find us by searching Morton Muse and News on Facebook, or by emailing me at bvande12 at gmail. com. B V A N D E one, two.  Additionally, if you're interested in sponsoring our show or supporting our effort to highlight our wonderful community, we'd love to partner with you. Sponsorship not only helps us continue to produce quality content, but it also provides great exposure for your business and your organization. 

Thanks for being part of the community and the show. Together, let's continue to celebrate the people and the stories that make Morton special.  Until next time, keep making Morton matter.